How to Deal: “You might want to discuss the situation in a diplomatic way and let your boss know that there is priority work you’re not able to do while you’re picking up her dry cleaning,” Scott suggests. Expressing your desire to become more involved with important, work-related projects should gently remind your boss that you were not hired to organize her personal life. Of course, if your boss’ demands are an indication of a deep-seated and unalterable power struggle à la “The Devil Wears Prada,” you’ll need to decide if you’re willing to accept that her requests are part and parcel of your workload — whether in the job description or not.
How to Deal: Again, Scott recommends you discuss your boss’ behavior openly with him. Allowing your emotions to surface will only intensify matters, so it’s best to be calm and collected when you enter this conversation. Ask your boss to identify examples of things you do that trigger his temper, “so you can determine whether you’re making mistakes or if your boss is yelling at you for no reason,” she suggests.
How to Deal: Scott suggests a couple of ways to get credit even if your boss refuses to publicly acknowledge your contributions. One way is to casually mention your involvement during meetings with senior management. You might also consider keeping leaders informed of the work you’ve done by copying them on memos over the course of a project. (This does not mean CC-ing everyone all the time!)
How to Deal: “Clearly stating that you’re in a relationship might be enough to get your boss to back down,” Scott explains. If that doesn’t work, try explaining to your boss that his behavior has made you uncomfortable. “In short,” Scott writes, “speak up to stop the behavior sooner rather than later.”
How to Deal: “Bring this out in the open to clarify what the policies are,” Scott suggests. A frank conversation with your boss might reveal that she thinks your vacation requests coincide with the company’s busiest and most demanding periods. “Negotiate time off for when you’re not needed,” she recommends.
How to Deal: There might have been a misunderstanding; discuss the matter with your boss before jumping to any conclusions. If your boss can provide a reasonable answer —perhaps the company is going through difficult times and bonuses are lower than expected across the board — it might be best to overlook the discrepancy. But if you still think you are owed a larger bonus, you will need to decide whether it’s worth rocking the boat before going above your boss’ head to resolve the matter.
regarding his personal problems.
How to Deal: “This is about setting boundaries,” Scott states. Look first at your own actions to make sure you haven’t unwittingly implied to your boss that you’re an available confidante. If your behavior isn’t what needs altering, Scott recommends you draw a boundary by suggesting a more appropriate person for your boss to take his problems to, such as a family member or friend.
How to Deal: This is one situation where you probably don’t want to confront your boss directly, Scott advises. Document any evidence you find before informing the company of your boss’ actions. “If you think your boss is committing crimes, it can be a crime to keep working there or to ail to report what you suspect to the authorities,” Scott writes in her book.